I tried VR Porn and WHOA!

I may have been late to the game, but now I am a believer.

Not so long ago, I bought a Meta Quest 2 headset that I got mostly for the Supernatural workout app. I had been using it exclusively for that. Mostly though, it sat on a table in my office, charging.

Until curiosity got the better of me.

I had no idea that VR porn was quite so… vivid. I mean, my life isn’t even in 6K resolution. Ho. Ly. Shit. To say that I was impressed is to state an utter truth with a level of mild that is outright irresponsible.

I’ll admit, at first I was a little thrown by the language barrier in the [several] video[s] I [allegedly] watched. Without understanding the dialog, it took me a moment to ascertain the finer nuances of plot development. But I persevered. The cinematography alone was stupendous.

It required some preparations. No, get your mind out of the gutter- even though I’m talking porn, this is a classy place.

First off, I wear glasses with progressive lenses for both near vision and distance, so finding the correct focal point took some positioning and repositioning. I didn’t want some blurry visuals to ruin the fake new reality. It’s a weird thing to try to adjust glasses with multiple focal points to a fixed headset that is shot with 3D. How do your eyes focus on a stationary screen that is supposed to have realistic three-dimensional depth? Some, uh, quality points were lost here and there for occasionally taking me out of the experience.

Then came the boundary. The Meta Quest 2 demands that you set up a physical boundary for use, presumably so that you will not charge into your kitchen table as a result of overzealously chasing after things that aren’t really there. When upright in a fighting stance, this makes sense- the boundary can be drawn on the floor around you. But when you’re sitting down in a Proper Porn Viewing Locale, the headset has some difficulty in determining a boundary- mostly due to an inability to determine where the floor should be. Eventually though, it gives up and allows for an “open boundary.” That’s when the magic happens.

As verified by this fool, any fool can find VR Porn. Some of the free clips alone will seriously mess with your perceptions of reality.

Go ahead now and preemptively clear your schedule, this is going to take a while…